


A 'Thing' Thing

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: "Writer For Hire" -  Marvel Oneshots [22]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blow Job, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Requited Unrequited Love, Scarred Wade, Scars, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:56:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If this was a thing thing, then asking if it’s a thing thing would be insulting. And if it wasn’t… well this would just get awkward.<br/>Peter was listening to his maybe-probably-not-boyfriend jerk off.<br/>Yeah, could you imagine it being awkward?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A 'Thing' Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazycatlady_42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazycatlady_42/gifts).



> On my ['I Heard A Sound'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4117279) fic, crazycatlady_42 asked for a similar fic - "Like, they haven't met yet, but masturbate to each other on a regular basis, then peter slips/falls one time and wade busts down peters door (naked/wearing a loose towel, very aroused still) to make sure he's ok, then wade takes care of him/Jacks him off while making out. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!?!?!?"

“Shit Wade, I’m going to-” Peter’s words broke off into a long moan.  
On the other side of the wall, Wade made a pained noise.  
“Stay with me,” Wade pleaded, his voice breaking. He hadn’t come yet, but he sounded close.  
Peter smiled tiredly as he rested his head against their divider. “Of course,” he promised.  
He ran his hands under the water of his shower. If there was one place in his apartment that he was going to masturbate to the sound of his neighbour getting off, he was glad it was the shower.  
Peter had almost, _almost_ gotten used to the idea.  
That he had been in some sort of relationship with the guy next door for _three months,_ had jerked off to the sound of him, heard him come,and _still_ hadn’t seen his face.  
Hair nor hide.  
Nothing.  
It was the most frustrating thing Peter had ever been a part of.  
Wade always diverted the questions, the subtle invitations to meet, the much more obvious offers for dinners and lunches, everything.  
There were a hundred and one reasons Peter could think of why Wade wouldn’t want to meet.  
Maybe he wasn’t out, maybe he already had a partner, maybe this meant nothing, maybe Wade thought nothing of this beyond it being a more interactive form of porn, maybe Peter was putting too much thought into this, maybe, maybe, maybe.  
The thing was, _Peter didn’t know._  
All those answers were valid. Any of them could be the reason, all of them could be the reason, none of them could be the reason.  
And it wasn’t as if Peter could ask.  
_Hey Wade, is this a thing? Like a_ **thing** thing, you know, or like is this just a thing? Yeah, that type of thing thing. Or am I completely wrong? Do you have someone else? Like, am I the ‘other guy’? Am I putting my love life on hold for nothing? What the hell is going on here?  
Yeah, Peter had a feeling that wouldn’t work.  
Because if this was a thing thing, then _asking_ if it’s a thing thing would be insulting. And if it wasn’t… well this would just get awkward.  
Peter was washing his cum-stained hands in shower while listening to his maybe-probably-not-boyfriend jerk off.  
Yeah, could you imagine it being awkward?  
“Peter?” Wade purred.  
“I’m here,” Peter told him in the most cheerful tone he could muster.  
“Go- _ahh_ -od.”  
Peter chuckled lightly as Wade made a few choked noises.  
He heard Wade slump to the bottom of the shower.  
“Oh, the things I would do to you,” Wade murmured.  
_You could do them now,_ Peter wanted to tell him.  
“Night, Wade,” Peter said instead, turning off the shower and slipping away.  
  
  
XXX  
  
Peter groaned as he stumbled into his apartment.  
Why couldn’t he be interested in something less difficult than science, like….literally anything?  
He wandered mindlessly to his bed, and threw himself down.  
That’s when he heard it.  
Wade’s shower was running.  
Peter groaned loudly.  
Get up and join Wade in the shower, enjoy his entertaining banter, maybe get off…or sleep off the last twelve hours of incredibly difficult and challenging work?  
He pulled himself up again.  
Was that even a question?  
He dragged himself into the shower and turned the knobs.  
“Hello Peter,” Wade sung out to him.  
Peter leant against the side of the shower as he tested the water. “Hey Wade.”  
“Aw, you sound tired, Petey babe, you up for this?” Wade snickered to himself. “ _Up.”_  
Peter groaned as loud as he could as he stepped into the shower. “That was so bad.”  
“Well it’s _hard_ to come up with good boner jokes Peter. It’s so easy to make a _dick_ of oneself.”  
“I’ll leave,” Peter threatened.  
Wade gasped. “And leave me all _blue?”_  
“I’m going,” Peter called back to him, though made no move to actually leave.  
“Don’t!” Wade begged sharply.  
Peter hummed under his breath. “Too tired to go back now,” he admitted.  
Wade laughed, and his voice deepened. “We _could_ just talk,” he suggested.  
Peter shivered unconsciously. “I _think_ I can spare some energy for some extracurricular activities.”  
Wade’s chuckle wasn’t in his seductive voice, but it was just as wonderful – the laugh Wade gave whenever Peter said something extra-dorky. “Well, if you think you can….”  
Peter wished he could stick his tongue out. Of course, if he could do something with his tongue…  
His hand slipped to his cock.  
Wade grunted. “I’m already hard,” he confessed, making Peter flush.  
Peter had no idea how Wade could be so _casual_ about those sorts of things. “Why?” he asked stupidly. “I mean-”  
“Thinking about you,” Wade purred. “I was afraid you were going to miss the show, and I was so _lonely_.”  
Peter shivered again and squeezed himself.  
“And I thought,” Wade continued, “that I should – _ahh-_ honour my missing partner.”  
“By masturbating?” God, that shouldn’t be so hot.  
“To the thought of you.” Wade’s voice was wavering.  
Peter let out an involuntary moan as his hand fell into a quick-paced rhythm.  
“Bet you’d look so good splayed out in front of me.”  
Peter whined.  
“Bet you blush real easy too,” Wade gasped.  
“You’re such a-” Peter began, shifted and lost his footing.  
He made a panicked noise and grabbed the curtain, making a pained noise as he fell out of the shoulder.  
He dimly heard Wade calling to him frantically as he tried to regain his breath. There was a throbbing in his thigh, and he groaned. Nothing was broken, he knew, but he probably had a few scrapes. He could tell he was missing a bit of skin on his ankles. He groaned again.  
Today was not his day.  
He dully noted Wade had stopped making noises.  
“I’m fine,” he called to him.  
He did sort of feel like crying, just a little. He bit his lip and closed his eyes.  
He was such a loser.  
He had just fallen down while masturbating in the shower. He really hoped Wade wasn’t calling an ambulance because that would just be the icing on the-  
“Peter!”  
There was a sound of Peter’s front door being thrown open, slammed shut.  
“Peter!” The voice called again urgently as a man raced into the bathroom.  
Peter blinked up at him. “Wade?”  
The man dropped to his knees. “Are you okay?” he asked urgently.  
“Just slipped,” Peter replied in a daze. He wondered if he _had_ hit his head.  
Because there was no way his sorta-maybe-not-boyfriend had broken into his apartment, almost completely naked save for a towel wrapped around his waist, which, by the way, did absolutely nothing to hide how hard Wade was underneath it.  
Wade’s hands were combing his hair. “I can’t _feel_ anything,” he said uncertainly as he examined Peter’s eyes. “Do you remember your name?”  
“Wade?” Peter asked again, because this couldn’t be happening.  
“That’s my name.” Wade said, still worried. “What’s _yours?”_  
“Peter Benjamin Parker,” Peter told him. “I didn’t hit my head. How did you get in?”  
“I’m a master of many talents.” Wade’s hands shifted downwards to examine Peter’s legs. “You’re bleeding.”  
Peter made an annoyed noise and threw an arm over his face. “I hate my life.”  
Wade pried Peter’s arm away. “Shall I get bandaids?”  
Peter didn’t respond. He was actually looking at Wade this time, properly. He’d been too concerned with the soul-crushing embarrassment when Wade had entered to look, but now…  
“You’re hot,” Peter said dazedly.  
A flash of anger crossed Wade’s face, and his fingers went up to his face. “Must have hit your head really hard,” he decided.  
Peter shook his head and pulled himself up on his elbows. “No, you are,” he insisted, capturing Wade’s hand so he could get a better look.  
He could tell _why_ Wade didn’t believe him. A long scar crossed from his hairline to his chin. But that just added to the … to the _Wade._ Peter lifted his free hand to touch it.  
Wade’s eyes fluttered closed as Peter traced it. After he reached his chin, his hand slipped down to his chest, where a few more scars crossed Wade’s torso.  
Peter hummed. There was still a collection of dull pains in his legs, and the sound of his shower running.  
“If I knew all it’d take for you to come over was me tripping,” Peter began.  
“Yeah you know how to ensnare a guy,” Wade opened his eyes and smiled at him. “As romantic as this setting is, maybe we should move it to the bedroom.”  
Peter nodded and groaned as he made to stand, but Wade took the chore out of his hands, slipping his hands under Peter and _carrying_ him into the other room, placing him gently on the bed before going back to shut off the shower. He returned with a box of bandaids.  
Peter couldn’t help laughing at the sight. He was completely naked and wet on his bed. Wade was almost as naked and wet and holding a box of bandaids. Both of them were still half-hard.  
Wade made a mock-hurt look, the one Peter had imagined a thousand times. The real thing was so much better.  
“This was such a dirty tactic Peter.” Wade told him as he slipped onto the bed next to him, his towel shifting inappropriately.  
“You got me,” Peter replied as Wade pulled out a bandaid, unwrapped it, and placed it on one of his cuts. “This is all part of my masterplan to get you into my bed.”  
Wade’s smile was getting less guarded by the second. He made a show of looking around. “It’s worked very well,” he commented.  
Peter nodded and hissed as Wade pressed too hard. Then he flushed, because Wade was covered in scars and all Peter had was a few scrapes. Wade didn’t seem to mind though, leaning down to kiss the bandaid.  
“Sorry babe,” Wade told him, looking up at him. Then he grinned properly. “I _knew_ you were a blusher!” He declared triumphantly.  
Peter tossed his head back onto the pillow. One of his legs kicked restlessly as he remembered the last time Wade had told him that, mere minutes ago in the shower.  
Wade applied the last bandaid and glanced over Peter, who was trying to figure out how to cover himself without looking even more the loser than he probably already did.  
Then Wade’s eyes fixed on his cock, and something clicked.  
After all, being bold seemed to be working for Peter thus far.  
He cleared his throat and directed his attention to Wade’s ill-fitting towel. “We _were_ in the middle of something.”  
Wade hummed, not taking his eyes off Peter’s dick. “We were.” Then he ducked his head. “Shall I go back then?”  
Peter shot up. “No!”  
Wade looked at him in surprise, then vague amusement.  
“You’re here, aren’t you?” Peter tried desperately.  
Wade scratched at one of the scars on his wrist as he pulled a thoughtful expression. “Peter,” he began slowly. “I don’t think-”  
Peter was already moving, sliding towards him, grabbing one of his hands and leading it down to his cock. “I’m hard,” he said insistently. He knew the problem now, had known the problem since that first flash of anger in Wade’s eyes and he didn’t give a damn. “For you,” he added, partly in case Wade didn’t get that, partly because he couldn’t control his mouth. He dropped Wade’s hand and looked away. “Unless you have someone else?”  
Wade gave a chuckle unlike any Peter had heard from him, completely self-deprecating. “Just you,” he said softly, before catching Peter’s eyes again. “You sure?”  
Peter smiled back, cupped the back of Wade’s head, and finally, _finally,_ kissed him.  
Wade tasted of spices, Peter noted as Wade tilted his head and kissed back in earnest.  
In that moment, it was as if both of them remembered what they had been doing, how _close_ they had been before the untimely fall. Wade’s grip tightened and one hand tangled in his hair. They broke apart, panting into each other’s skin. Both of their hands were roaming now, over each other’s necks and chest.  
“You’re so cut for a scientist,” Wade whispered breathlessly into his ear.  
Peter laughed. “I get that a lot.” Then he yelped as Wade bit his shoulder.  
“I think from now on, you should save that lovely torso for me,” Wade told him. A flare of panic bloomed in his eyes.  
Apparently being bold only worked for Wade when they weren’t face to face.  
Peter gave him a sly grin, and rolled his hips. “Maybe you should make a claim,” he suggested innocently.  
Wade gave him a dirty look, and shifted so his mouth was hovering over Peter’s cock. “Hmm,” he mused. “Subject is clearly aroused.”  
“Oh my god,” Peter covered his face with his hands. “Please don’t.”  
Wade looked up at him cheekily. “Doesn’t science talk turn you on, baby boy?”  
“Surprisingly, no _ahhh.”_  
Wade had taken Peter’s distraction to wrap his lips around Peter’s cock. Peter gasped and his hand fell into Wade’s hair as the other grasped at the bedsheet.  
“Rude,” Peter told him when he finally got his breath back.  
His brain kicked in, he could do this, he knew what Wade liked to hear.  
“But _how_ did the _Narada’s_ time travelling- _god-_ affect the Federation’s space ship designs?” Peter began. Wade got off on geeky monologues, and Peter had _thousands_ of them. “Was the _Kelvin_ transporting spaceship designers… _”_ Wade’s mouth was hot on his skin and he was sucking and it was everything Peter had fantasised about for the past few months. “ _Wade_ \- or architects or whatever, who in Prime!verse redesigned the Federation’s spaceships to fit to the 60s theme? I mean the _Kelvin_ was obviously designed in the 21 st century view of spaceships, and so was the new _Enterprise_ and all the other new!timeline ships, like real world it’s just cos we have this concept- _ahh-_ of streamlined minimalism being futuristic, when back in the 60s it was all reds and pleather and flashing buttons and stuff, but how does it work _in verse?”_  
Wade made a pained noise around his cock, his hand drifting between his own legs, untugging the towel and letting it fall off him.  
The hand griping the bedsheet tightened. “Oh _god_ Wade,” Peter panted. He was so close, embarrassingly so.  
Wade hummed around him and that was it.  
Peter threw his head back as he came, barely noticing as Wade swallowed it all down.  
As he breathed heavily and tried to remember his own name, Wade licked a trail up Peter’s chest before sucking a hickey into his neck.  
Peter made a soft tired noise, and Wade pulled away.  
“You’re tired, I get it, I should probably- _eek.”_  
Peter had pulled his hair with a glare before reaching down between the two of them to grasp Wade’s cock.  
Wade made a pleading face. “You don’t have to,” he said, even as he rocked his body into Peter’s hand.  
Peter’s free hand rested on Wade’s cheek as he kissed him softly. “I _want_ to.”  
Peter was going to hunt down each and every person who made Wade feel this way. But, until then -  
He kissed the scar along Wade’s face. Wade whimpered in response, pushing into Peter’s hand again.  
Peter grinned, flashing his teeth and making Wade moan. “I’m so _close,”_ Wade whispered. He pulled Peter in for a kiss, their faces and noses hit against each other unceremoniously. Wade didn’t seem to mind though, not even pausing their kissing.  
Peter took the hint and kissed back just as violently, his hand moving together with Wade’s hips.  
“Tell me-” Wade gasped between kisses. “About – the differences – between Vulcans and Romulans again.”  
Peter laughed.  
“ _Fuck_ , I’ve dreamed about this Peter,” Wade groaned. “You – Me – _this.”_  
“Yeah?”  
“ _Fuck_ yeah,” Wade told him and whimpered. “God Peter, you’re so beautiful, fuck.”  
Peter blushed, hiding it by sucking a return hickey into Wade’s neck.  
Wade gave a final groan as he came, falling back on the bed and pulling Peter on top of him.  
Peter made a disgusted noise as sperm smeared on his leg.  
Wade gave him a concerned look.  
“You didn’t have to get me messy,” Peter complained.  
Wade blinked twice at him.  
Then he was racked with laughter, shuddering with it.  
Peter was too tired to come up with a retort, dropping his head on Wade’s chest and smothering a yawn. “You’re cleaning up,” he told him.  
Wade’s hands tied in his hair. “Whatever you want baby boy.”  
Peter nuzzled his neck. “Night Wade.”  
Wade hummed in agreement as Peter fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So the Kelvin/Nerada time traveling thing was from the 2009 Star Trek reboot. It amuses me endlessly to compare the 60s version of Federation space ships to the reboot, and so I came up with a headcanon that there were ship architects on board the Kelvin, since that's the only thing that really makes sense. SERIOUSLY THIS BUGS ME A LOT AND I AM TOTALLY WILLING TO CHAT ABOUT THIS OR ANYTHING STAR TREK BECAUSE I'VE WATCH EVERY SINGLE EPISODE FROM TOS TO VOY (I'VE WATCHED VOY AND DS9 FROM START TO FINISH AT LEAST FIVE TIMES EACH) PLUS I'VE WATCHED ALL THE MOVIES AND READ A BUNCH OF THE BOOKS AND YEAH STAR TREK, OKAY??? Also I wrote up the rant [ on tumblr as well ](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/post/125093948442/one-thing-i-dont-get-about-the-2009-star-trek) you know, if you'd like to talk/discuss it there instead. (Or just reblog it in awe of how awesome I am, idk) 
> 
>  
> 
> [~Prompts are always welcome~](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
